Date:  Sunday to Wednesday – 19-21 May 2014

Gatlinburg, Tennessee, is an interesting town.

It’s obsessed with pancakes. There are, literally, dozens of pancakeries around town.

There are also a lot of streams and creeks and rivers running through town, and every hotel worth its salt offers a balcony or a terrace or a porch with a view.

There are some funky buildings. It’s like a mini-Dubai!

It’s home to the world’s largest collection of salt and pepper shakers.

There’s an adorable trolley you can ride.

It’s a great place to visit if you have a sweet tooth.

It’s also a great place to visit if you’ve ever wanted a Confederate belt buckle, a Smoky Mountain troll or a jar of corn cob jelly.

There are a lot of family-friendly attractions with elaborate window displays.

(I’m still sad I didn’t get to play Circus Blacklight mini golf.)

There’s also alcohol. Oh god, so much alcohol. You can have moonshine!

Or wine!

Or whiskey!

Or beer!

Once you’re tired of drinking, you can listen to live music.

Added bonus:  There’s always at least one amateur clogger in the audience.

After the show, you can try to ride a mechanical donkey.

Or, if you’re lucky enough to run into some fellow hikers, you can win second place at the Smoky Mountain Brewery’s Tuesday Trivia night competition.

When you’ve had all the fun you can handle, and you’re strolling back to your hotel room overlooking a stream, creek or river, you can stop to feed the ducks, admire the neon, and, if you’re really lucky, have a brief chat with a woman who carries around a monkey dressed in a floral onesie.

GATLINBURG!!